The skipped player knows that he is facing a bet, so he is in the best position to know that it is his turn, and he must speak up when he is missed. Yes, both the skipped player and the out-of-turn actor are at fault. But if the skipped player does not speak up immediately once hie is skipped, in my view, he becomes 'more' at fault.
I do sympathize with your position, however, because I really do not like killing hands that are in play. If there is some doubt as to whether the skipped player allowed the action continue, I would be willing in the interest of fairness to allow the skipped player to call the outstanding bet rather than killing his hand, despite there having been substantial action. But I would never wait to give him that option to call or fold after he has the opportunity to see whether every single player left to act in the hand will raise or not before deciding. That is too big of a reward for not speaking up immediately.
With respect to the player that intentionally bets out of turn, knowing that his bet can be retracted, he will get a warning and then penalties for repeated infractions, and that is clearly provided for in the final rule. As you know, there is a still a debate as to whether the rule that allows him to retract his bet at all is a good one, but in my mind that is a separate issue and surely not reason enough to justify giving the button to a skipped player every time he is missed.