Mike,
This is exactly what I'm talking about. We have had numerous discussions on the forum. If what we say means anything...here is my vote:
When a player is skipped, barring a deliberate delay, or an excessive lapse of time, the player should loose his right to aggressive action. I will quote your last line for how I feel beyond that.
It's also not being written in at this time, but almost without exception the attendees felt that if there was any betting action out of turn and the next card is dealt, the skipped hand is dead.
One of the issues that come to mind, was the discussion of the last player to act that is somehow skipped by the dealer. Currently, the skipped player should not have a dead hand. The procedure is as follows: The premature board card can not stay, even if the skipped player decides to fold.
I believe the best solutions, to solve all of the problems at the tables, begin with: Allowing the dealers to direct, and control the action by clarifying all bets in turn and stopping the out of turn bettors. Strong dealers are needed... along with players that must follow basic rules of etiquette.
I will list the 3 that top my list for players to follow: #1 Act in turn.
#2 Protect your own hand.
#3 Retain your winning hand until the pot is pushed to you.
I'd like you to think of every major screw-up that has taken place in recent years, and tell me that the simple rules above wouldn't have prevented them from ever happening.
I also believe that punishment for the OOT might be more realistic than punishing the skipped player.